My tusheez

This blog was started once upon a time when a young girl at school didnt know better but thought otherwise. So the way earlier entries can be crass and words inappropriate so please don't judge. As now the person has evolved into someone older and wiser (hopefully) ..:.... But some of the entries were classic and hilarious so I don't have the heart to delete them :@ Well we were all young (read:wild) once, right?

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Mr Gan Ah Sai

Boys and girls.

Actuarriee horr.. I am smitten again.

Like with a real man, not Hyun Bin, Takeshi or some Aldo shoes.

But since it's still at a very premature era, let's just name him Mr Gan.

He was initially someone I gave a quick glance, went : "OK lahh. quite cute lorr.. standard....." and didn't give much notice. Until we met for a power lunch, which I was almost an hour late for.

From what I conjured up during the first meet, he must be a jovial lad, nice guy yadah yadah. Probably can't be funnier than me. Nevertheless, lunch ? Why not lah.. I am always up for making friends. Some more office so close-by.

After ordering the stupid salmon bagel at One Fullerton's new Starbucks, on the way back to the seat, I grabbed a newspaper at the stand, he quickly muttered :" You assume I'm gonna be boring, is it?"

I turned around, stunned. Wah... this guy got a bit of ballz sial.. somehow I started feeling like I am losing a game.... I got a bit nervous after that.
I then sat up and composed myself, the food came. I was struggling with my knife and fork, trying to cut up the bloody bagel when he looked closely and muttered again :" You need a manhole to get in there?"

I went.. "Err... hard to cut lor.."

So he jolly well scolded me gently, "Just pick up the bloody thing with your hands and eat lah, no need to be so ku niang.."


Hahaha.. TSK! Point system starts counting.

We've been meeting for lunch and dinner almost everyday the past few weeks.

I kept calling him MR KANN (Mr Gan mah.. )...

Maybe Kaninabu-san if he were Japanese..

Mr Gan, huh.

Imagine if his wife name NINA.

Gan Nina.

NOT FUNNY OK!!!!!!!!!

One time, He asked me :" Are you sure your surname not Gan?? You are more Hong Gan than me leh!"
He also kept mentioning he luckily he did that newspaper trick, else he sure Kanna on my black list liao.

Mr Gan turns out to be witty and very down to earth. Very sincere, very smart, very likable, very righteous and oh oh.. I think he could be smitten by my shitty antigues too. I think it's the season for lovee.. even DIDA is sooooooooo in love with her chocolate boy whom I met last week. =)

Mr Gan works for the biggest company that does SOS. So I asked him if I can call him for SOS too. 24/7.

He asked :" What kind of SOS? Get too drunk then cannot go home, is it?"

I thought hor... bloody hell.... People really cannot think of any other situation where Celly needs help, other than when she gets tanked til she passes out???? Hell and Damnation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But that was quick, eh. Smart one Mr Gan.

I just sent Mr Gan off a few days ago, he was going to attend 2 weddings where he had to drive people's brides around, like what the hell..drive them crazy more like.

Bugger was saying: " Thank you so much for sending me off leh... Er.. You wanna make sure I really go off is it???"

Me : " AH DENNNNNNNNNNN?????????????????"


The other time we went for supper with Bev and Violet and Mr Gan and his male friend. The girls were talking about expensive designer dresses, coz I told Violet her 400 buck Tai tai BEBE dress looked like a curtain.

Violet : It's 400 buckz okay!!!! AND I love BeBe, and Marc Jacobs...

Bev: Yeah!!! How about Betty Johnson...?

*And the guys caught no ball...*

Me : I love Christian Lacroix! How unique!

*the lads quietly kept eating the Boon Tong Kee chicken*

Bev: " You lads so quiet? You know them anot..?"

Mr Gan :" Nah...I think I was too young at that time"

I don't know why but everybody seemed to spit out their their chicken rice when he said that.


Funny meh? Why my friends all think he's funny?? GNN.


Heh. Heh.. Okay lah..quite smitten lah..quite smitten.. See how okay..



And the story unfolds in time lah...


Hor?


Mr Gan Ah Sai. Tsk.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Got you Under My SKinn..

Title is totally irrelevant of course, but I do like the phrase.
Under my skin is totally eerie man.. like some sort of exorcism, not quite erotism.

Anyway... I have a new girl friend, thanks to my fellow Oxfordian Darren who introduced me to her. She's way cool, She's Korean, she just moved from Beijing and her name is Su.

She is also cool coz she teaches me a bit of Korean here and there (must prepare for my Hyun Bin encounter) and also she makes me feel closer to Hyun Bin..





Here is Su and me at Paulaner's
There was a bunch of us there that night, last last Friday to be exact, I was singing, Bev was singing, and it was Bev's birthday!!!

That Friday night at Paulaner's was rather special. It was Bev's birthday (where she wails all day, coz her boyfriend was not around-- he works in Shanghai).
Also, some silly customers requested that Bev sing a Shakira song and Marcelly to shake her big butts to it.

Err.. I was not paid to be a bar top dancer there! Though I do prefer dancing on stage to singing ANYTIME. It's in the ass. But, they might fire me after I do bar- top dancing there mang!!! Cause the last time I sang Like A Virgin there, they scolded my already.

But bo pian... customers always right.. So, had to follow command.
Bev was whispering and pointing out to me on stage.. that's the guy who requested, he thinks you're cute..

Bloody helll.. so far.. so glaring..so mafan cannot see lah. A bit tallish, fair-ish.. normal spiky hair, nothing special.
But we had to go down to drink a round of beer with them anyway, ( How could I refuse free beers right?)
The culprits were called Eu Tjin and his evil sidekick Om.



Here is Bev and Me....


OH OH OH ALSO!!!! DIDA came to Paulaner to see me..

At first I was shocked, this chio bu with sexy bikini top was smiling and saying HI to me..
Í was like :"Hi .. How are you?"", my brain was in a total ransacking mode. (WHo's she?? SO chio.. so hot.. how come I dont know.)

Then she blurted it out :"I am DI Da! "

Oooh laalaaaaa.......... Anyway, really happy so see her, she's of course hot as a meteorite. Very sweet and very likable, hope to hang out with her again soon.

Anyway, we went to Zouk afterwards... Su, Violet, Wee Fong, Chris and his gang were there too.
Bev went to get her Birthday present from her boyfriend at China One.
It was supposed to be just a bottle of champagne (coz he's in Shanghai), but in the end.. she got him!!! He turned up..! Surprise present! Wah lau.. damn drama I tell you.

Pretty well done huh? Well done Joel!!!


So, the rest went to Zouk, where I met Om and Eu Tjin again (maybe they were stalking me hahaha..)..

Su was asking :"" So, that's the guy just now? The one you said was quite cute??""

Me: "" Eu Tjin? Yeah.. that's him.."

Su:"" How come you stopped talking to him and came back to me?""

Me: "" Errr.. Coz I just found out he's Malaysian.."


Lolx..

Okay.. I am truly, truly sorry.. But............... I have this impression that the Malaysian Chinese, especially those in Singapore are very the Cheena, chaste, white as sheep nice boys.

Don't blame me cause I encountered one too many of them in NUS and NTU.
They were those who were not in the same frequency as me lah.. I mean they were very, very, very nice people. But they're not the type of blokes who could probably handle me, let alone entertain me.
Sorry lah...I am not derrogating or what.. but tó them, I am probably like '"a splat of cow dung on a white sheet". I am a poisonous, cold blooded reptillian . They are lovely, white sheep, that speak a lot of ching chong chong. (I don't actually mind Taiwanese boys being very Cheena, in fact I'd love it!!!.. but not Malaysian boys, I don't know why!)

Just from totally different side of the universe. So, I thought..Good Malaysian boys should be out of my list lah, for their sake. But thank goodness he turned out to be one of those witty, fun, banana ones with immaculate command of English. Okay... nairmind.. more on him next time ...

In fact, not just Malaysian boys, I must admit a lot of goodie Indonesian boys (who are in Singapore) border on the same category, along with Viet and PRC scholars.
Not the kind I would date, basically. They don't even know where ZOUK is or what MOS is. Cannot lah like that. Will have a lot of pobrem wan.


On the contrary, Bev begs to differ, she finds most Malaysians in Singapore very very hilarious. Hmm... maybe I haven't met too many of the right bunch, that's why. My cool, cool Malaysian friends were those who grew up in England, slept with a harem of nubile lasses, drank absinthe, passed out on the streets and smoked pot. Hahahaha.. Damn... don't take my word for it.




Anyway... SUPPER TIME!!!!!





After Zouk, we went for 5 Star chicken rice..


Nice... Yummy..




We finished A LOTTTT of foood... I must have been tired out, so much running around.
These are the guilty fellas.. if not guilty they wouldnt have siamed from the picture..




Here is Chris... from Business Times.. dont play play with him.. later he write about you in newspaper..




Ahh... nairmind..

SO anyway, that marks the end of the night.

I have some pictures of Jackie's birthday. uploaded them.. and now showing all sorts of blardy errors.. once I sort it out.. I shall write about her birthday adventure as an Indian belly lancer..

Singapore Disneyland @ZOUK Halloween Party

Kay- Nai - Na....

It was a night at Zouk like no otherr .. in a year..

It was like going to bloody disneyland, bloody would be very appropriate here..
I didnt have time to get myself tanked, I didn't get to shake my bumpers..
Cause the whole time I was there.. I took all the pictures I could.. with all these happening people who botherred to dress up for Halloween.. Well done Singapore.... I am so proud..

And I must say.. a lot of very sporting people... normally the not so poseurs one.. but the fun, down to earth people.. The poseurs.. sure will still dress chi chi and atas and all.. farg.. what a bore..


Anyway... here are the collection...





Ahh.... Uglee fLinstone-beng, and that girl from ALIAS ...




Flinstone-beng's uglee grandpar and drag queen uncle ...



The Happy Family Picture..



The plumber after hours came to chill too..





the ..er... sexy cherub??


side view got wings and.. berrllyy ....






the DONG DONG CHIANG ghost...


Not very scary if you ask me... quite cute in fact.


Then i found some.. bride..



Bapok bride



Anyway , he was way sexy.. or . more like exposed.. he wore this tight boxer or something.. under his see-through lacey skirt..





Found some bleeding, Chinese, Cheena bride and groom.. aint them the wedding costumes?? Red mah.


Anyway... they were nice!


Ken, me, Weihao ...
Sorry. my friends on the other hands, were one of those poseurs who didnt want to dress up.. BOOOOO!

But Wei HAo was my photographer of the night. So, I must not be such a potty mouth towards him.


The sexy babes and me



Here are blade, constantine, or some satanic cult guy with wings
.. and some accidental cleavage..


nevermind me



violet and moi ..
Violet also never dresses up.. at least I got wear wig and shiny pants mahhh..
boo!


ELVIS, me, and Chagaratanooga CHOO CHOO




Man..this one is rather creepy..
An Angmoh guy for a geisha???DOROIITTTAAAA
Well done though, I must say.. How sporting , right??? Gambatee!!!



er.. i am not sure... legoman??
Must be out of his mind to carry around bulky card board box like that.. Sigh...
All in the name of beauty.



I found a familiar face..... Wendy aka Xia Xue.. So, here is Wendy and me ..
Oh she looks like Godlilocks man.. love her hair..




The oyster man.. He sat down all day with his clam house closed.. until someone kocks on the shell or rubs it..... then he would spring up... pretty aawesome..
He won #1 prize for the costume competition leh.. a pair friggin Air tickets to Berlin..



Ol Mac Donald had a farm, and obviously some party blood and spare time to go ZOUK..




Sister and her alter ego?

One sexy sister, if you ask me..





er...Mustafa ?




The dance floor was packeedddddd



Some were creative.. some were imaginative.. some were... kinda out of budget or something.. some girls turn up with bath robes.. short short ones... *did your eyes open up?*
They brought some bubble guns too..But this particular photo went missing, sorry fellas.. use your imagination okay?



There was this creature.. unbeknownst to me. a fish, a Lion, a Chinese entity...

But he was colourful and VERY annoying to have around.. his fins kept slapping my face!!



Here is Corpse bride and groom...
Well done again..! I like!!!!



There was this.. er.. monk-ie..





Fake or not, I must pay my dues..


Ah...

There was koala bear too.. see that's why it was like going to Disneyland!
I think WeiHao looks like Koalabear too..



Koala n Violet




The mirror man. When people went near him, he would shine a torch light on his face behind that black sheet which is supposed to be a mirror..
Pretty amazing too.



CELLY!!! I know what YOU did last summer!!!



Cecilia won #2 prize, Motorola handphone I believe..
Guess which one is her real head? The one on the table or the one eating?



It's the one one the table.. =)



IUEEEUUWWWWW>..........



It was this gross.. Meteor landed on his tummy..




The gorilla priest carried around a huge bible..



I then made my wish/confession..."Father.. I have sinned.. for.. I..."


Gowreeela's head




When Weihao and Violet saw them, they were like :"Eh.. Celly, you found your friends..."

hahaha.. The Wiggy sisters



I know these people not suppose to budge, no matter what right??
KKooooo..cheee..coocheee coocheee





Just now, there was this ghost with a 3-holed bed sheet over his head right .
This is the actual man, should have just kept his bed sheet on all night, eh?



Here's Batman..I was so mean, I yelled to Violet " How come this batman SO Fat ah??"
But he was so nice, he just smiled and took a photo with me.. he heh..



errr..
I am not quite sure of his motive..



But put those two pictures together, and I get a story.

The downfall of the Samurai.




I saw Lin Zhang with his "I am not so sure what it is" costume.. with a big black Zorro hat and that finger signage.




the hot dog stall, the drunk couple, the blooded people



HUANG DI!!!!!!! *Gong sounds* ...
Haiyohh.. damn farnee lah.. I really was having such a blast that day..





Jiapz, me and the mole.


Oh Oh!!!

Guess who else was there?? We have all the scary fellas,, the cute fellas...

And then I found...



HARD GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you don't know him yet.. please go to www.youtube.com and looks for Hard Gay...
Okay?? Don't be so out of date ..prease..






The hairy and the latex people..




The Pocahontas babes..
Wei Hao insisted on me taking the pics.. he thought they were chio, that's why.




Okay folks.. get ready for the ultimate..

This bugger gets my vote anyday..






Osama's Kaki lang.. Tsk tsk.. How come the securities let this one in??



After Zouk. we went Boon Tong Kee.. And I though the masquerade ended.

But no, I still found Jack Lee there.. The crazy mtf donned some hard hat.




Violet and the sexy plumber @ boon tong kee




me and sexy plumber Jack..


ANd that ended the night...




Where were YOUUUUUUUUUUUU On Halloween's???????